If you want more perks, there are two premium memberships to choose from: Pairs may be more popular, but Tinder is still a great way to meet Japanese singles looking for relationships of all kinds.
2. Dating in Japan as a foreign man:
Tinder offers two premium memberships, Tinder Plus and Tinder Gold. Here are the features that come with each:. For everything you want to know about Tinder, check out this Tinder review. You can filter your search results by 24 different criteria, including income, age, and location. The more months you purchase up front, the less your subscription will cost. Guys need a paid subscription to send messages, so if you're going to use the app, plan on paying for it. Using the app is the same as Tinder: If you are a western guy with decent social skills, you might do better elsewhere.
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Having said this, if you are willing to put effort into understanding the culture, nothing will stop you from dating Japanese girls. When I first came to Japan I thought the western men had it easy, too. Have flocks of women come to them without lifting a finger! In contrast, western women have to put in a ton of effort just to get a guy to respond back to a text message.
But then, after living in Japan and later China for a long time, I started to spend more time with your average Japanese woman at the office. I also started to see what kind of Japanese women my western-man-friends were typically dating.
At first, I was jealous because Japanese women are nice, polite, absolutely adorable—basically, something I could not compete with. I realized that like in most countries, probably finding a decent Japanese woman is hard. Someone who is not only cute, but honest and interesting and looking for companionship is especially hard to find in Japan. While it may be nice to get some girls at the bar, I think western men must find it hard to find a Japanese woman that they would actually want to have a long-term relationship with unless all they cared about was having a chick that looks hot.
As for us women: It sucks that we have to put in way more effort than we should to get a man. In the USA, I walk into a bar and usually by the end of the night I guarantee a few guys will approach me. In Japan, this hardly ever happens. But who knows, maybe all that hard work and effort into getting a man helps us get a higher quality partner in the long run. But to be honest, I thought a majority of Japanese men were quite strange so I eventually gave up on trying to find a Japanese boyfriend. And I have to disagree with foreign women speaking better Japanese than men.
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I also want to say that I love the photos on your website! Keep up the good work: Thank you so much for sharing your experience with us! While reading I felt like standing up and screaming: Being so fake, putting tons of make-up in their faces and speaking like cute little anime characters is certainly not something most sane guys are looking for. B-b-b-but men should approach me! Japanese girls are so boring and uninteresting! Cry me a river sweet-heart. I thought I had it easy in America, but when I went to Japan just for a week it was like playing life on beginner mode. I consider myself a reasonably attractive guy fit, confident, etc.
Women approach me in bars, come up to me to dance at clubs, and I do well for myself on Okcupid and Tinder. But nothing prepared me for how overtly forward Japanese women can be with their attraction. Being groped at clubs, girls giggling around me, and being eye fucked like no tomorrow on the train. I actually met a beautiful Japanese girl in Shibuya. We spent most of the week together before I left. She has already spent some time with me in America. But what she lacks in that department, she makes up for being a surprisingly kind and gentle person.
She absolutely loves animals and she is an extremely affectionate person. One aspect of this article that has been counterintuitive to my experience dating a Japanese girl is the concept of an allowance. When I was in Japan, this girl paid for all my meals, despite offering to pay for the meal, or at least my own. She never tries to tell me how to spend my money and when she came to America to visit she literally gave me all her money to hold on to for her.
She always tries to carry my belongings. If I have a bag with me, she absolutely has to carry it for me and refuses to listen to my objections. She always tries to clean my room and I have to tell her not to. I actually have some Japanese friends through work that grew up in Japan. I can understand the appeal Japan has for foreign men. The women in Japan are incredibly thin and take awesome care of themselves.
Well, it pays off. According to my Japanese friends in America, there is virtually no hook-up culture in Japan. See that attractive girl walking down the street in New York City?
Looking for Love: The Trials and Tribulations of Online Dating in Japan
It is definitely interesting to read your point of view. I think that a lot of the stereotypes are just that, and may not reflect as much reality as we perceive. Oh, it certainly does not, but you would have to write a whole book about it if you want to cover it all! After all each one is unqiue. I seriously doubt that you will find a really interesting girl in a bar.
These are found by accident, at work, in a university, etc. French, Spanish and Italian men behave quite differently from Northern Europeans. They are also very different from Americans. I would assume South Americans are similar to southern Europeans, being influenced by Hispanic culture.
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European women are not so aggressive as Americans. I could go on. Simone, I agree with you. This was my long winded way of saying that those different people will have a different experience in Japan. I work with some guys who have been in Japan as long as me, or who have been married around the same time, and their Japanese is basic at best. There are a lot of people like that everywhere it seems. Do they like feeling helpless? Hidden behind their computer screens, they could now safely approach me.
Most were also pretty international, could speak English and were looking for a chance to meet non-Japanese people. I soon found myself having dinner with a string of attractive Japanese men — the same ones that would never approach me before. Most first dates were a bit nerve-wracking, as you are after all meeting a complete stranger or potential psychopath, but getting to know each other was quite easy.
If conversation topics ran out, we could always talk about life in Japan or abroad, or worse case scenario, how good I was at using chopsticks. In a way, being from different cultural backgrounds made it easier to find things to talk about. If my dates were always very friendly, it was sometimes hard to tell if they were interested in me or not. Where western guys would perhaps try to kiss you goodnight or try to invite themselves for a late night coffee, Japanese guys would awkwardly shake your hand, at most. I never had to make the first move back home, but I quickly understood that if I wanted anything to happen on the first date, I would have to put on my big girl pants.
After a tough and manly karate coach turned into a pink shaking mess when I invited him back to my place, it became apparent that a subtle approach might work better. I discovered hand holding and dark karaoke boxes did wonders with shy Japanese guys, giving them all the signals needed to take things further, i.
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One thing that surprised me the most was that online dating was not only for casual hook-ups and one night stands. Though I admit I had my fair share of fun. Some guys were genuinely looking for a relationship, but found it difficult to meet people the traditional way, especially if they were interested in foreign girls. I did end up meeting three of my boyfriends online and about half of my friends also met their other halves the same way. For one, it takes time to find quality matches, especially on Tinder.
You will also probably have your share of disappointing dates… but sometimes, you will also meet a great guy that will make it all worthwhile. Time consuming, very little info to go on. A bit expensive, a few unsavoury gentlemen. Intercultural explorer, matchmaking choreographer, dating in Tokyo since More articles by Sara Who. You must be insanely picky to date for 5 years and not find anyone. Online dating can be very practical option to meet someone but it can be very time consuming and stressful process…all the information is self claimed so you must be very careful at first if your expectation is to have a long term relationship that leads to something more permanent.
There are many people who chose to work with matchmakers if their intention to meet someone as ready to have relationship as you.